In A Church [Reader X ????(AOT/SNK BOY)]

    The church was full of people, both people who knew the deceased and those who came just to say they did. There were those that built a false past with the deceased and those who cried as they treasured what moments they had with him. The smell was musty and reminded me of a lifeless being, but also smelled of baby powder, old people, and flowers. The flowers were blue and white roses, the colors of the Survey Corps.
    Armin looked at me with his big blue eyes, each one seeming to possess its own type of sadness. He held his hand out and I took it, squeezing it as if he would disappear any second. He led me to a pew two away from the front and off to the side, the casket could be seen, but not the deceased. I stared straight ahead in thought as others filled in and began idle chatter.
    The older people and the seasoned Survey Corps soldiers looked upset, but expressed nothing compared to the younger people in the church. I blinked back tears as I refused to shed a single tear, at least, I would not shed it yet. I sat still and held Armin’s hand as if it were a lifeline.
    What else was there to do in a church?
    A person came to occupy the spot to my right and I glanced over to find Levi. His raven locks hung down in his gray eyes as he put his head down. My grip on Armin tightened. “(F/n)…” Armin murmured but I refused to look at him. If I looked at Armin again, I knew he would disappear.
    I swallowed so that my thick throat would loosen enough to talk. “Y-You came…” I murmured. Levi smirked as he turned his gaze onto me, his eyes looking to my left hand oddly. Could he see me holding Armin’s hand?
    “You said you would get me in a church at least once. I figured for a wedding, not a funeral.” I was probably squeezing poor Armin’s hand off as Levi said this. Levi looked at me with soft eyes, nothing hateful or cold about them. “So now what, we are in a church.” He waited patiently for my response.
    “We just sit here and wallow in despair until the service is over.” I reply and he shakes his head at this.
    “(F/n), are you okay? Do you hear me?” Armin’s voice began to weigh down on me but I knew if I looked, it would all disappear.
    “Why did you rent out a church and buy such a nice coffin? This expensive stuff, it’s not fit for a Survey Corps body.” Levi remarked as he looked to the front of the church. I bit the inside of my lip and said nothing, so he continued. “A soldier should have his body burned proudly with the others if it makes it back to the walls. Why spend so much on this? Why not let him die a soldier and burn like one?” His words made my jaw tighten in frustration.
    “I had saved my entire life to use this money in a church, so I’m being selfish. I’m using it whether it be a church wedding or a church funeral. After what has happened, I believe I have the right to be selfish.” Tears pricked my eyes so I looked down to the black heels I wore.
    Levi said nothing as Armin spoke, “(F/n), are you listening to me?” I shook my head and knew I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t lose everything at this moment.
    After some silence, Levi stood and his gray eyes met my blue ones. “Let’s go to the casket.” He mumbled and I rose, Armin following me as I interlocked my fingers with his. We moved to the front, all eyes boring into me as I moved with less grace and prestige than usual.
    The shiny black casket held the Survey Corps symbol on it, and in the casket with the body lay various little trinkets from friends. I swallowed hard and kept my gaze on Levi; not the body, not Armin, just on Levi. I couldn’t look at the casket. I just couldn’t look away. The smell of the prepared body stung my nostrils and made a single tear run down my cheek.
    “The war is almost over. The death isn’t in vain; a martyr was born.” I shook my head vigorously at Levi’s biter words.
    “I didn’t want to be engaged to a martyr. I wanted someone to be with the rest of my life. I at least wanted to make it through a honey moon.” I blinked back the tears the best I could.
    “For a soldier, you were asking for too much, but as a beautiful young woman, you weren’t asking for enough.” Levi put a hand to the side of my face, his hand colder than I expected.
    The church bells began to chime and I knew the time would be up soon. Levi pulled his hand away from my face and watched me with curious eyes as I put my hand into the top of my black dress, grabbing the warm metal chain hidden underneath it.
    “What are you doing, (F/n)?” Armin’s hand squeezed mine a second, but I wouldn’t look at him. I didn’t want everything to disappear just yet.
    I wouldn’t let him disappear just yet.
    I pulled the necklace out and lifted up over my (h/c) hair which had been pinned up into a neat and fancy bun. On the necklace were two silver rings, each one engraved with the wedding day that would never come and the nickname we held for each other.
    “Tch, what are you doing brat?” Levi asked as he peered over my shoulder as I faced the coffin with silent tears trailing down my face. I took the bigger of the two rings and placed it on the ring finger of my deceased fiancé, his hand cold to the touch.
    “I said I would marry in a church and, god dammit, I did.” I slid on my wedding ring on past Armin’s fingers before I leaned down and pressed my lips against the cold dead ones for a second.
    “(F/n)…” Armin whispered my name, but still, I refused to look at him. If I look, all will disappear.
    “You are one strange woman.” Levi commented as he took my right hand and squeezed it, his cold fingers making my heart ache as I glanced at the coffin one last time. “What are your plans now that you are Lance Corporal (F/n) (L/n) rather than Squad Leader?” His words were soft as he leaned in closer to keep the conversation private.
    I could feel Armin’s presence behind me as he spoke, but I refused to turn away from Levi. I just couldn’t. “I plan on winning this war…” I mumbled the first part and Levi kissed my forehead with cool lips.
    A white light formed next to the casket and my eyes widened at the sight of the two figures standing in that light. “They are here for me.” The words hurt so much. I couldn’t bear to move my eyes. I squeezed both Levi and Armin’s hands as tight as I could.
    “Don’t go yet…”
    “It’s time. I love you, Lance Corporal (L/n) or, should I say, Lance Corporal Ackerman.” Levi spoke with a smile on his face. I shook my head no and could not focus on whatever Armin was saying behind me.
    “Levi, I will win this war,” he leaned down and kissed me so that I could not finish my original phrase.
    “Good, I expect nothing less from you.” He began to back away, Isabelle and Farlan already flanking his sides.
    As his fingers slipped away from mine, I add, “And once we have won, I will join you.” Tears streamed down my face as his eyes widened and he shook his head.
    “Don’t join me, (F/n). Live your life to its natural end.” He looked as if he wanted to come back out of the light and hold me, but the time was up.
    “I love you, Levi.” I choked out. Knowing he could not waste his time in arguing with me anymore, he smiled.
    “I loved you too, brat.”
    The light disappeared as Levi’s first and only time in a church came to an end. I let the tears leave as they pleased as I turned to the body in the casket and took my hand out of Armin’s grip at last. “(F/n), are you okay?” Armin’s voice did not register with me as I walked down the main aisle and continued on out of the church.
    That would be the last time I was ever in a church.


~End~