Insecure Girl: Cray Christmas Time (Jean X Reader)

This is the fifth installment of INSECURE GIRL! WOOOO! This is not a complete Christmas special; it still follows the general storyline I kind of have as well as some Christmas going on. I highly advise you read the first four if you have not already; they will give you a better sense of what is happening and will make more sense overall, especially with what all will be happening in this chapter. So please read INSECURE GIRL: THE BET, INSECURE GIRL: OFFICIAL OR NAW, INSECURE GIRL: BLACK (FRIDAY) OPS, and INSECURE GIRL: FRIENDS AND JEALOUSY! Please enjoy this chapter and have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!

    You looked over the letter in your hand several more times before, with a huff, shoving it into your pocket. At the moment you couldn't be more frustrated and it's all thanks to said letter, not even the cheerful Christmas music in the background could make you less pissed off. "What's wrong, (F/n)?" Reiner looked at you with a raised blond eyebrow.
    You shook your head and gave him an obviously forced smile. "Nothing. Just worried about how I did on the finals last week." You turned away from him so he wouldn't be able to see how much of a lie it really was.
    "You suck at lying." He pointed out before continuing to clean the barista counter with a wet rag.
    "Shut up." You grumbled and scowled at him when he laughed at you for saying it. You liked working the night shift with Reiner and Bertholdt, but tonight you were in too bad of a mood to enjoy their company.
    Customers came in to order drinks and pastries off of the special Christmas menu. You had made countless peppermint hot chocolates and served too many candy cane cookies to count. You should be enjoying your last day of work before the week break you had while Hanji's Coffee High would be closed, but no! You just had to get that letter and you now had to cancel plans with Jean!
    The end of your shift was here at last, but your mood was still sour. You were surprised to find Bertholdt standing in front of the doors with a drink in hand while Jean stood on the other side of the glass doors glaring at the tall boy's back. Jean pulled on the doors again and again, but apparently they had been locked for the night.
    "I hope you have a good holiday break..." Bertholdt seemed to be sweating a little more than usual. You gave him a small smile.
    "You too Bertholdt. I will see you at Hanji's Christmas part Tuesday, right?" Your (e/c) eyes looked into his green ones for an answer.
    "Y-Yeah!" He cheered. You went to stand next to him, Jean cussing and directing hateful words at Bertholdt from outside where he can't be heard. Bertholdt turned and held the drink in his hands out to you. "I hope you feel better soon." Accepting the drink, you watched him scurry off. You lifted the lid to smell a Mocha Madness.
    That boy was an angel.
    You unlocked the door long enough to slip out to a red faced Jean. "Mine!" He yelled before wrapping his arms around you. You were going to ask what was wrong, but found you didn't have it in you. Without thinking your free arm went around his waist and that hand gripped the back of his coat like a lifeline.
    Jean seemed surprised by your action and calmed down to simply hold you in a warm embrace. If only he knew how much you needed that hug. When you finally lifted your head up you met Jean's curious gaze. "It's been a long day." You told him which seemed to be explanation enough for him.
    Taking your free hand in his, you entwined fingers and began walking down the snowy sidewalks towards the movie theatre. You got there and both of you stood in line an hour and a half before being let in for the worldwide premiere of Titan Attack. You went through hell to get those tickets and decided to enjoy the movie regardless of what was happening in your life at the moment.
    The movie was good, but you had seen better. Jean thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. He declared he would walk you back to your campus dorm even though his off campus house was closer to the theatre and you said you were capable enough to get home. He swung your hands back and forth excitedly.
    "And the scene where the Lance Corporal spun and took out the two Titans! Gah, that was amazing!" Jean rambled on. You smiled at his excitement and joy. "I was a little creped out when you started laughing at the bloodiest parts, but a girl who likes gore is pretty hot." Jean bent down and pecked your lips while you flushed in embarrassment.
    "I'm glad you really liked the movie." You told him and held his hand a little tighter.
    "Thanks again for the tickets. You are just too amazing. This is a great way to start our nonstop week together." Jean squeezed your hand as he smiled down at you. You knew then that you would have to break the news to him. "So, tomorrow, I was thinking I would pick you up at eight and we could meet Marco, Connie, and Sasha at the slopes by nine and..." You stopped walking and yanked on his arm to make him stop.
    His gold eyes looked back at you with confusion. "I can't go tomorrow." You told him in a monotone.
    "Why not?" He looked over your face for an answer. You didn't want to tell him the truth, you didn't want him to tag along.
    "I just don't want to go." You knew you were a horrible liar, and so did Jean. Before he could speak you said hurtful things. "Just because we are dating doesn't mean I want to do stuff with you and your popular friends nonstop. I like my alone time. So, just leave me alone tomorrow and I will talk to you later." You couldn't bring yourself to look at Jean as you said this all.
    You dropped his hand and scurried past him. "(F/n)?" He called after you, but you said nothing, simply put your hands in your pockets.

    The next morning, seven-thirty to be exact, you left your dorm with two luggage bags and a large canvas bag on your shoulder. You were on your way to the bus stop when a blue Honda pulled up onto the sidewalk and cut you off. Jean lowered the passenger side window with a grin on his face.
    "Just because you tried to be a bitch to me last night doesn't mean you can leave without me." He spoke with confidence.
    "W-What do you mean?" You stuck your chin up and tried to be oblivious to what he was saying.
    "You are a horrible liar. And I found this." He held up a crumpled letter that made you mentally face palm. "I'm coming with you to see your parents." He declared. When you attempted to run around his car he moved it to block you.
    "I really don't want you to meet my family..." You grumbled ten minutes later, Jean cruising down the highway with a smile on his face.
    "I know you don't, but I do. I want to be able to see where you came from and be able to know you just a little bit better." He looked over at you with a shit-eating grin and you simply looked out the window, a small smile forming on your face.
    "Don't you mean to say 'who' I came from, not where?" He laughed at your small joke.
    "Yes, yes I do." Your smile got a little bigger.
    "Thank you, Jean, for coming with me. And, well, sorry for being a bitch last night."
    "No need to apologize; it was hot to see you all nasty and bothered." You turned on him with flaming cheeks and wide eyes. He laughed as you looked for anything to retort.

    You were at your mother's home by ten thirty in the morning. You were getting out of the car when your mother and oldest sister came out onto the porch. "Sir, excuse me, sir!" Your mother called out to Jean. He looked up at your mother curiously. "I don't know how far you brought her, but we won't be paying her fare. She can pay you the gas money on her own!" She called out without qualms.
    You physically face palmed.
    "Mom! He's my boyfriend!" You called back before noticing the large bump on your sister's stomach. Oh god, not again...
    "You expect me to believe that?" She retorted before going back into the house. You inwardly cringed before looking to Jean. Jean's face had never before contorted into such an anger as this.
    "Your mother is horrible." He put his arm around your shoulders and used his free hand to carry your things.
    "She's not too bad once you are used to it." You comment back as you walk into the house, your sister eyeing you both skeptically. Jean looked as if he wanted to say more, but kept it to himself.
    In the house your mother stood next to her living room bar with her arms crossed. "(F/n), you said you would not be here till noon."
    "Jean decided to come along so he drove us instead of me taking the bus routes." You reply.
    "Well, let's get this over with, I have a date with the new doctor in town at two." You just smiled at your mother and pretended like the words did not sting.
    "Um...This is my boyfriend Jean Kirstein. We've been dating for about two months..."
    Your sister approached, "I doubt it will make it past three. He is actually really good looking." Jean looked tense as she walked around him in a large circle. You could see a gleam of anger in his eyes, grabbing his arm to keep it at bay you sat down on the couch.
    "So, Lilya, when did you get pregnant again?" You tilted your head to express your curiosity.
    "Eight months ago." She responded in a bored tone as she took a seat across from Jean and your mother began to make herself a martini.
    "Are you going to keep it?" Your hopeful tone seemed to catch Jean's attention.
    "I was going to, but my douche bag boyfriend left me. He ran off with some bitch in Sina. It was too late to get an abortion by that time though, so this baby will go to adoption." She spoke so casually about it. You squirmed uneasily in your seat and Jean wrapped his arm around your waist.
    A half hour later you finished exchanging gifts, well, you gave them the gifts you got them and they gave you gift cards to gas stations in the area. "It was nice to meet you all." Jean said with a fake smile on his face.
    "Just don't knock her up; we can't afford to feed her brats." Your mother retorted, her sixth martini in hand, before she stumbled up the stairs to nap of her drunkenness and get ready for her date.
   "If ya leave her, just know I won't be pregnant much longer!" Lilya called out to Jean. In a spark of anger, you grabbed Jean's collar and pulled him down for a long, steamy kiss. You looked back up to see your sister roll her eyes and go back into the house.
    Once in the car and heading down the road Jean spoke, "They were total bitches!" He yelled. After jumping in your seat you nodded.
    "But they are...family..." You mumbled and said nothing else aside from directions to your father's house. You began to worry that Jean would think less of you. What if he didn't want to be around someone who came from a family like this? What if he left you once you got back to Maria? No one would want to have to deal with in-laws or extended family like this.
    Your father had a larger, fancy home. When Jean and you approached, the maid opened the door. You frowned once seeing her large, round stomach. This isn't the first time your father impregnated the help. Jean held your hand tight as he entered first, pulling one of the luggage bags full of gifts in with him.
    Your father sat in his plush red lounge chair and your second sister sat on the matching couch. The entire house had been decked to the nines for Christmas. The smell of fresh sugar cookies filled your nostrils, causing your stomach to growl a little.
    "Oh, (F/n), good to see you. We will be serving lunch in a few minutes." Your father's (e/c) eyes looked somewhat interested, but you knew it was only because Jean stood by your side. "Who is this young man? Could he be a gift from your mother or Lilya?"
    "Well, father, she was always good at having the leftovers." Your sister snickered. You bit the inside of your bottom lip and looked off.
    "Hello Mr. (L/n). I am Jean Kirstein, I am your daughter's boyfriend of two months." Jean stuck his hand out, but your father did not shake it. He simply stood and directed his hand towards the kitchen.
    "Crystal, (F/n), and...Jon, let's go enjoy a nice chicken dinner, shall we?" Jean's hand dropped down to his side as your father and sister went on ahead. Rolling your eyes, you pulled Jean after you as you followed them.
    The meal started off in silence and, regretfully, went to hell once there was noise. "So, Jon, what do your parents do?" Jean gripped his fork a little tighter at your father's question.
    "My name is Jean, and my family owns the K-Creamery industry. We also own the Kirs Meat industry, Kirstein Ranches, and Dairy K." You were surprised by how big your father's eyes got. Jean gave a small smug smile before eating a gravy doused piece of chicken.
    The holiday music in the background was throwing off the sudden tension in the room. "So (F/n) is a gold digger like her mom, not surprising." His voice held a dark undertone that made you turn your hands into fists. Jean looked stunned by what he had just heard.
    "Excuse me, but she did not know anything about my family's business until after we were dating..."
    "I'm surprised she snatched you up before someone better could." Crystal chimed in. Jean sat with a gaped mouth while you stared straight down at your plate. "Hey (F/n), remember my senior year of high school and your junior year?" She asked with an evil smirk playing on her lips.
    "Crystal, please don't ta-"
    "Jean, you must hear this. So a boy asked me to prom and I said yes, but when I found a better date, he asked (F/n) at the last minute. She agreed to go with him and, once at the prom, I ditched my other date and took him back! (F/n) sat there like a depressed lump the whole night! It was hilarious how quickly (F/n) was forgotten and left for the others like leftovers." Crystal's high pitched laugh only made you feel worse.
    A sudden slamming made your head snap up. Jean had stood and now had both fists on the table. "Enough of this. (F/n) does not deserve any of this." Jean grabbed your upper arm and pulled you from your chair. "We are leaving." He pulled you back to the living room where you quickly donned your coats and grabbed your things, you leaving behind their gifts on the couch.
    Your sister followed you out to the porch and Jean glared at her. "Now that I take a closer look at you Jean, you suit my sister." Jean's tense muscles eased the slightest bit. "Only a horse could love my sister." She added with a devilish smirk.
    "That's it! No one calls my boyfriend a horse!" You yelled before pulling your fist back and cold-cocking your sister. As her unconscious body fell to the wooden boards of the porch you scream, "Merry fucking Christmas, bitch!"
    You grabbed Jean's arm and stormed over to his blue Honda. He didn't object to you throwing him in the driver's seat and flopping yourself down into the passenger seat. He took off like a bat out of hell.
    After a half hour of nothing but silence you say, "This is why I didn't want you to come..." Your voice cut off as your throat tightened with unshed tears. You looked out the window and attempted to keep the tears at bay. "Th-they are always like this. I-I-I didn't w-want you to see th-this." You sniffled in a quiet way.
    "I understand if you don't want to see me anymore. They are a...handful..." You still couldn't find the courage to look at Jean. "I'm sorry for all of this..." The car suddenly pulled over and you looked to Jean with wide, confused eyes. Was this it? Was this where he broke up with you?
    He unbuckled, managed to unbuckle you somehow, and pulled you to him. He wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tight. "Don't say shit like that! You didn't deserve any of that." He put his face in the crook of your neck and you hesitantly put your arms around him. "I'm not breaking up with you because your family is a ton of assholes. Don't belittle yourself because of them." You gripped the back of his coat tighter.
    "I love you...I didn't want you to see that...because I love you..." You began to cry. Never before had you openly cried in front of Jean. He showed surprise a moment before pulling your closer. You openly sobbed into his chest as he held you.

~Jean~
    It had been two days since he went with you to visit your parents and now he stood next to you at Hanji's Christmas party. Your face was flushed and you were giggling manically. He put a hand to your warm face before you leaned up and kissed him. He was surprised at first, but melted into it.
    Before it could go too far he pulled back. You tasted like alcohol. "(F/n)..."
    "There's Tits!" Hanji cheered as she handed you another cup which you chugged. "Hello there, Jeanie boy, you can thank me later." Hanji winked at him before skipping off in the other direction.
    Jean's brow scrunched in confusion before he looked down at your increasingly loud form. Your giggles were turning into cackles and you had only been here an hour. Jean looked around to find Sasha in an eating contest against Reiner, Mikasa holding Eren possessively (a giant bow around said boy's neck), Connie and Bertholdt light saber fighting with empty gift wrap rolls, Armin reading a book by the fire with Annie playing with his hair, and Levi standing next to a man with one arm.
    Marco had not come which meant Jean would have to figure out why his girlfriend tasted like alcohol on his own. You began to sway to Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer before you slumped into Jean. "Jean, hey Jean, 'mere." You signaled for him to lower his face closer to yours.
    Going along with your wish, he leaned down closer to you. "I like yo face, pon-ay booyyyy." You whispered into his ear before licking it. Jean snapped his head back like a rubber band and caught your giggling, stumbling form.
    "Hey brat," Levi appeared before Jean with stern gray eyes, "You may want to take her home before Hanji gives her anymore alcoholic eggnog." The shorter man poked you in the forehead and your (e/c) eyes got as wide as saucers.
    "HOLY JESUS COW TITS, BATMAN!" You called out, getting odd looks from the other party patrons. Jean did his best to hold in snickers.
    "Professor, isn't it illegal to give out alcohol to minors?" Jean put his arm around your waist to keep you stable.
    "See that tall, blond, armless man over there?" Jean nodded yes. "That is Erwin Smith, mayor of the town and Hanji's husband. He has granted her immunity in Maria since she has a tendency to get in trouble. Since he and I are old friends, I can't kill Hanji. At least, not until I find a loophole in our friendship..." Levi walked off just as Hanji made Eren and Armin chug something, their girlfriends tied up like pigs with tinsel in the corner.
    An hour later Jean carried you to his shared house because you couldn't walk a straight line to save your life. Eren and Armin had been taken home via taxi a half hour ago after Hanji got them completely drunk. Mikasa and Annie were chasing Hanji down at the moment while her husband watched and Levi cheered for the two employees to kill their boss.
    Jean knew it was time for you to leave because you were beating poor Connie with the Christmas tree, much to Levi's amusement and everyone else's horror. The amount of strength you possessed still scared the others on occasion.
    He brought you to his shared house and lay you on the couch, putting a blanket over you after removing your coat and boots. You were barely awake when he first left you in there, but when he got back from the kitchen with a glass of water and a worried Marco, you were sitting there bouncing up and down excitedly.
    "RAWR!" Eren came stumbling into the living room with a crawling Armin after him.
    "Titan! DEE TITAN DEE!" Armin slurred before falling onto his side. The two made their way to the kitchen.
    "Armin! Eren! Hey!" Marco went after the two drunk boys while Jean came to sit next to you.
    You threw your arms around Jean and smiled up at him like a goober. Jean felt himself blush at the lust in your eyes. "I'm dwunker than screws! And I WUV you!" You cheered before leaning up and kissing him. When you pulled away you say, "Now we can make out!" You put your lips on his once more, pushing him back and straddling him.
    Jean felt his heart stop in his chest before he closed his eyes. He let your tongue in his mouth and began to roll his around yours. You moaned happily. Jean felt something stir below as your hands began to frisk his top half, your lips and tongue doing things he thought he would have to teach you.
    Realizing what his body was doing, and that you were too drunk to make any good choices, he pushed you off and held you at arm's length. "Okay, (F/n), drink this glass of water and take a nap, okay?" Your lips pulled down in a pout that Jean found beyond cute.
    "Fine." You glared at him much to his amusement.
    Jean watched as you chugged the water and passed out the next second. After tucking a blanket around you Jean stood, went upstairs, and proceeded to take a long, cold shower.
~~

    You woke up to find yourself in a place obviously not your dorm room. Everything came back at once and you put your red face in your hands. Why were you a drunk who remembers everything they did? You looked at the time to see it had only been an hour or so since Jean brought you to his house.
    The reason you woke up soon became clear.
    Marco sat in a chair across from you with tired features as Eren lay on the floor moaning and Armin kneeled beside him, a straw in each hand, swiping at Eren's neck. "Gimme back Wren! Titan bitch! Gimme back rawr! Bitch! Dee Titan!" He continued to slice at the nape of Eren's neck while Eren simply lay there moaning.
    You looked to Marco once more who, somehow, passed out and snored softly. You giggled a little before sitting up and stretching. "Up already?" You turned to find Jean coming down the steps, his two-toned hair wet.
    "Yeah, see, we (L/n)s don't stay drunk long. We sleep it off in cat naps." You admitted before scratching your chin nervously. "I'm really sorry for how I acted at the party. I should have stopped after the first eggnog Hanji gave me." You admitted. Jean sat down beside you and took your hand.
    "No problem, it was funny watching you try to beat Connie senseless with the Christmas tree." You blushed more as he said this.
    "That's really embarrassing!" You whined and looked away to hide your embarrassment.
    "DEE!!!!"
    "RAWR!"
    "Come back and DEE!!!!" Your heads turned to see Eren and Armin crawling out of the room, Armin in pursuit of Eren, and then watched as Marco woke with a start to go after them. Once alone in the living room you felt your determination steel over and heart rate skyrocket.
    "Jean, when I started making out with you, it was because I really wanted to. And...I...really liked it..." You looked up at him with a nervous smile. He seemed speechless, but regained his composure.
    Jean leaned down and pressed his lips against yours lightly. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down on top of you as you laid back. You put one hand in his ice cold, wet hair and let the other draw circles on the back of his neck.
    He put his tongue in your mouth and you allowed it in with eagerness. You began to tongue wrestle while his hands gripped your hips tightly. You let the hand on his neck drift down his back and you parted to breathe. His golden eyes looked down at you with an odd gleam in them.
    All of a sudden he jumped up and went to the stairs, going two at a time. "Where are you going?" You called after him.
    "To take a cold shower!" He replied.

*Christmas Day*
    You had spent Christmas Eve with Jean's parents and him. Now you sat with him on the couch in his grandfather's living room Christmas Day. You held hands as everyone opened and exchanged gifts. Jean had gotten you a case of pocky, Otaku things, and a giant stuffed Totoro. You had gotten him new seat covers for his car, the tickets to the movie you saw already, and a basket of small things he enjoyed...and a small stuffed horse because you are a secret asshole.
    "(F/n), would you mind helping us get the desserts ready?" Jean's mom asked you as she rose from her seat beside Mr. Kirstein.
    "Yeah, sure, no problem." You gave Jean a quick kiss on the cheek before rising and following his mother and grandmother out to the kitchen. Once out there you were thrown into a group hug. "Ummm...?" You were stock still in the embrace.
    "Jean told us about your family," his grandmother started.
    His mother finished with, "And we want you to know that you are part of this family now, even if it isn't official or even if Jean and you break up, which, if he's smart, he won't do." You were a little upset that Jean told his family, but it was to be expected you guess.
    "Thank you..." You felt yourself tear up at the thought of having a real family. You hugged them back.

    After Christmas with his grandparents you went back to his parents' house to spend the night. Jean and you sat together on the couch in front of the fireplace while snow fell outside the window only feet away. Jean sat with his feet propped up on an ottoman while you lay stretched out, the upper half of your body in his lap.
    "Jean?" You asked nervously.
    "Yeah?"
    "Thank you for everything. I'm not that open with my feelings and past, I'm not the prettiest, and I'm not the most refined girl out there, but you have accepted me into your family and show me things I have been scared to accept or to even think about. I know I haven't said this a lot until the past few days or so, one time I was even drunk, but, well, I love you." You glanced up to see his golden eyes gleaming with happiness and a warm smile pulled his lips up.
    He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on your lips. "You are more than welcome. I love you, (F/n). I'm so glad you are still with me even though I have fucked up a few times. I probably will again because I'm an idiot, but oh well." He shifted around and suddenly a large box appeared before your eyes.
    He opened the lid and you saw two rings with engravings on them. He picked up the smaller ring, took your right hand, and slid it onto your middle finger. "Property of Jean Kirstein." You read aloud before laughing.
    He slipped the bigger ring onto the middle finger of his left hand. "And property of (F/n) (L/n). I got the idea for these when you gave your sister that wicked right hook because she called me a horse." You smiled up at him before laughing a care-free laugh.
    "I love them Jean."
    "And I love you."
    "I gotta admit that was a smooth line, Pony Boy."
    "Thanks, only the smoothest for you, Tits."
    "Say that again and I will give you a right hook."
    "That's hot, threaten me again."
    "Shut up!"
    "And (F/n)?"
    "Yeah Jean?"
    "Merry Christmas, my love."
    "Merry Christmas to you too."

BONUS
    You were sitting in Hanji's Coffee High the day after Christmas on the request of Mayor Erwin Smith. He had rambled on about things Hanji does and how he appreciates us putting up with her. "Furthermore, I would like to apologize to all who she got almost arrested on Black Friday and who she got drunk at the Christmas party." With that he stood, wrapping his one arm around Hanji's waist as she smiled wickedly at us all.
    "Touch my man again, and I will kill you!" Mikasa snapped as she held Eren close to her, the poor boy gagged and tied.
    "Still making him accept your love?" Ymir asked.
    "Yes, but it can't be too much longer, right?" Mikasa looked to Ymir hopefully.
    "Right! Hang in there!" They high fived before Ymir picked Krista up bridal style and waved goodbye to everyone.
    Armin sat down in Annie's lap, her petting his hair as if he were her lap dog. "You look so cute today, Armin." She cooed.
    "I do?" Armin looked up with wide, hope-filled blue eyes.
    "Yes, you do."
    "You look beautiful; how can cute keep beautiful around?" He pouted with his bottom lip out.
    "Don't worry; no one else will take me. I love my cute boy." She ruffled his hair before he threw himself into her arms, hugging her.
    You and Jean exchanged a look before noticing Connie and Sasha. Sasha looked at Connie very seriously, not putting her pastry in her mouth like she usually would. "Connie, I think we have gotten to the point in the relationship where I realized I like you enough to...share...my food with you..." She cut of a small chunk of her pastry and slid it towards Connie.
    "Sasha, this is the happiest day of my life!" Connie cried before eating the fourth of a pastry he got.
    Off in the corner Levi stood staring at everyone with bored eyes. "How lame." He muttered before pulling his extendable duster closer to him. "Come Dustina, let us be on our way and take leave from these weirdos." He left Hanji's Coffee High like we were the odd ones.
    Jean put his arm around your waist and kissed your cheek. "Sometimes I think we are the only normal couple around." He said.
    "I agree." You replied before leaning up to kiss him on his lips, hands joined so that your rings touched one another.