SNK/AOT Modern! AU! Chatroom

MasterCommander started a chatroom
MadScientist: I AM THE GREATEST
SexyStallion: I’ll make ya neigh
BroComplex: Eren is waifu and waifu is laifu
ArlertAlert: I’m cute with a big brain and girls really dig that
TitanSlayer: KILL ALL THE TITANS!
Humanity'sCleanest: I hate all of you.
MasterCommander: That’s the last time we all go to the bar together…
Humanity’sCleanest: Where the hell are you people? One of you little shits took my bleach and I can’t find you in the hotel.
ArlertAlert: Mikasa and I are in a room at Maria Inn...Why am I roomed with a girl?
MasterCommander: Wait….. you’re not a girl?
ArlertAlert: NO! I’m not! Really! Even Mr. Ackerman knows!
Humanity’sCleanest: Only ‘cause we had to piss at the same time.
MadScientist: You are too cute to be a boy...Was it a surgery?
ArlertAlert: NO!
SexyStallion: You would make a cute girl…
BroComplex: I’d rather be roomed with Eren, besides, Eren would make a cuter girl.
SexyStallion: She is going to rape you, Titan Boy
MasterCommander: Okay okay okay! First off, where is everyone?! I haven’t seen any of you since I’ve arrived. I’m at the Corp’s Castle, anyone else?
Humanity’sCleanest: I am as well, but I’m not going to bother with you unless you have my bleach. You aren’t that little shit, are you? I will end you.
ArlertAlert: Mikasa and I are still at Maria Inn
SexyStallion: I am at Hotel Sina. I got a suite bitchezzzzzzzz
MadScientist: I got myself a nice room at the hot springs
TitanSlayer: I’m at a motel called The Fourth Wall, seriously guys?! Why am I the only one who’s in a motel?
MadScientist: XD Luck of the draw loser!
Humanity’sCleanest: Why are we separated in the first place? If we are all going to the same week long conference, shouldn’t we room in the same hotel? Dumbass Shitty Glasses making arrangements!
MadScientist: Don’t you have to go clean yourself like a cat, Captain Short Shit?
BroComplex: So Eren…. is it a love motel?
TitanSlayer: Dear god… PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! DO NOT COME!
ArlertAlert: It’s okay, she is too drunk to walk a straight line...
ArlertAlert: But, then again, she may come ravage you in the night…
SexyStallion: She can ravage me tonight
MasterCommander: Okay guys! Let’s get back on track! No more sexual harassment Jean...As you guys know, we are up against our foe, Titan Co. We have fought many long and hard years against Titan Co. and it will not be in vain! We will win this war! We can’t back down now, not when we are so close… NOW! WHO’S WITH ME?!
Humanity’sCleanest: I WANNA KNOW WHICH OF YOU BRATTY SHITS STOLE MY BLEACH! YOU BASTARDS KNOW I CAN’T SLEEP WITHOUT IT! COME OUT NOW! AND I MAY SPARE YOU...MAYBE…
MasterCommander: Levi...are you kidding me? I just made that speech and everything!
Humanity’sCleanest: I can’t take you or your eyebrows seriously without my bleach
MasterCommander: -_-
SexyStallion: Mr. Ackerman, sir, I saw Eren leave with your bleach. He has it hidden in his suitcase. I’m pretty sure he plans to sell it for drugs.
Humanity’sCleanest: Thanks shitty brat
Humanity’sCleanest has logged off
TitanSlayer: Jean you liar! Why’d you tell shorty that?! I’m so dead…. I might still be able to escape.
SexyStallion: Sometimes, I like to watch you suffer…
BroComplex: I’ll make you suffer…
SexyStallion: Promise baby?
ArlertAlert: Is this what erotica is? I’m kinda scared…
TitanSlayer: GUYS! HELP! HE’S HERE!
MadScientist: That’s a new record for Shorty. Good luck surviving, if you make it I will buy you a slice tomorrow.
TitanSlayer: EGHRISNGENDOPRHNROEONHOREPOAWNG
MadScientist: I will eat a slice in your honor fellow soldier! \(-_-\)
ArlertAlert: He was my best friend... :’(
MasterCommander: Sooooo… where are we all going to meet up in the morning?
MadScientist: I know this great karaoke bar, Wings of Sing, and girls get half priced beer on Mondays. And they have wicked awesome hot wing sauce. >:-D
MasterCommander: NO!
BroComplex: Yeah right… -_-
ArlertAlert: NEVER!
SexyStallion: Usually I’m game, but you’re a little too crazy to party with, and you lack in my favorite departments. \(0_0)/
TitanSlayer: OYNDOCKELWPQNDOVUDHWLAO
ArlertAlert: He was my only real friend!!!! (0_0)
SexyStallion: I will weep for your loneliness, but I find Yeager’s pain and possible death too amusing to mourn with you.
BroComplex: I find your possible death amusing... I will end you.
MadScientist: What a shame. He should have set Jean up first, all’s fair in Levi and war.
MasterCommander: Alright people! We need to figure out where we are going to meet! No more talk of our possible fallen comrade, we can no longer do anything for him.
MadScientist: Shouldn’t we burn his body and light a candle in his honor at least? You sure are a big meanie Commander Caterpillar Brows.
SexyStallion: REQUIESCAT IN PACE
MasterCommander: We don't have time to light any candles. My name isn't Commander Caterpillar Brows either! 0.0
MadScientist: You didn’t mind me calling you that in bed the other night! *You know you like it*
MasterCommander: Okkkkkaaayyyyyy! Back on track please! Hanji.... shush.
SexyStallion: STTTTTAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWPPPPPPPPP!!!!!
ArlertAlert: My eyes! The images!!!!!!! I’m internally bleeding eternally!!!!
BroComplex: That's nasty.
TitanSlayer: Ew! OSNDOWNALDMFLEKABSO
SexyStallion: How is he still alive????
Humanity’sCleanest has logged into the chatroom
Humanity’sCleanest: HE. DIDN’T. HAVE. MY. BLEACH.
Humanity’sCleanest: And I cleaned that DISGUSTING motel room.
Humanity’sCleanest: Which of you bitches TOOK. MY. BLEACH?
TitanSlayer: THE HORRORS! I CAN NEVER UNSEE WHAT I JUST WITNESSED! ……… it was Jean. OH! THE PAIN!
Humanity’sCleanest: That pile of horse shit! I was almost arrested because of his lies!
SexyStallion has logged off
ArlertAlert: How did you avoid arrest?
Humanity’sCleanest: I kicked them shitless too. I used to own that thug life. Cops were my bitches years ago. I miss those days, but I rock the cravat too well to go back.
MasterCommander: Let’s not go back to those…. dark dark days. ahem… eyebrows.
Humanity’sCleanest: Shaving your brows would have been a blessing to all of those who look at you. If you had let me finish, there wouldn’t have been anything wrong. Do we get tea in this hotel?
MadScientist: How could you attempt such a dastardly deed! I love his eyebrows!!!!
ArlertAlert: Is that why you are dating him “secretly”?
MadScientist: Maybe…
MasterCommander: Who said we’re dating? you don’t have to be dating too…
BroComplex: No one cares.
MadScientist: Oh, so we’re NOT dating???? I see how it is. You AND your eyebrows can find someone else!
MadScientist has logged off
MasterCommander: NO! WAIT! I DIDNT MEAN IT!
Humanity’sCleanest: Wow, you AND your eyebrows are single now. LOSERS. Now, about that tea?
MasterCommander has logged off
TitanSlayer: Levi…. why can’t you just go to the store and buy a new bottle of bleach? I think that sassy comment was a little mean .
Humanity’sCleanest: IT HAS TO BE THAT BLEACH! It has a perfectly drawn face on it that simply can’t be replicated! And, I’m not mean. I’m a sexy bitch \(-_-\)
TitanSlayer: …. You draw faces on your cleaning products..? I can’t disagree with the sexy part though….
Humanity’sCleanest: Back in the Thug Wars of ‘09, I met a pretty little darling named Dustina. She didn’t make it through the war so that bleach with her portrait is all I have left. Got a problem, shit face?
ArlertAlert: That makes sense...and it was so touching :,(
BroComplex:.... What did you just say…? EREN! BASEMENT!
TitanSlayer: I don’t want to go back there! I CAN’T!
ArlertAlert: I think I’m gonna hop off while I can...
ArlertAlert has logged off
BroComplex: I’m coming for you Eren.
BroComplex has logged off
Humanity’sCleanest: Two Ackermans in one night; some may call you a whore, but I call you a fool.
TitanSlayer: I’m not going to make it to morning anyway.
Humanity’sCleanest: Keep that room spotless.
TitanSlayer: It wasn’t that dirty to begin with…
Humanity’sCleanest: Tch, Brat. At least I got my tea. I’m going to need the caffeine for later; when I end that horse faced lying shit.
TitanSlayer: \( 0.0)/ keep me out of it!
Humanity’sCleanest: Don’t worry, this has nothing to do with you, and it’s personal now >:-D
TitanSlayer: OH GOD! SHE FOUND ME!
TitanSlayer has logged off
Humanity’sCleanest: He won’t make it. Not my problem, I have a horse to bag... >:-D
Humanity’sCleanesthas logged off

BONUS

*When the group should be meeting at 6:30 am to prep for the conference*
    Eren whimpered as his body ached. His lightly tanned skin had bruises and cuts from the earlier beating given to him by Levi. Now, his wrist, arms, and ankles ached as he lay hogtied on his side in the sketchy yet clean motel room. Spooning him was none other than the infamous Mikasa Ackerman. He had no chance of defense after being mauled by an angered short man earlier in the night. Would he ever be the same?
    Mikasa kissed the top of Eren’s brown hair, laughing lightly as he mumbled into his gag. She began to pet his chest softly, giggling as she settled herself comfortably beside the boy. She did not like to go on business trips often, but this one was definitely worth it. She finally got Eren under her full control. What a wonderful night.
    Armin awoke with a small grin on his face, glad that he had no sign of hangover from the night before. He didn’t remember too much of last night’s transpirings, but, after noticing Mikasa to be missing from the room, he went through the chatroom on his phone. “Oh LAWD!” He shook his blond bob back and forth vigorously before sighing. He rose from the bed stretching before picking up the phone for room service, “Yes, can I get the waffle deluxe breakfast?” Today wouldn’t be too bad, even if they all missed the meeting with Titan Co. at seven.
    Erwin remained on his knees before Hanji’s door. He refused to move since three in the morning, which happened to be the time he finally found the hot spring hotel she had gotten for herself. At last, she opened the door and pushed her glasses up the rim of her nose. “What? Just because you come to me for hours with those cute eyebrows, you expect me to take you back? You denied us! And your eyebrows!” Hanji exclaimed as she angrily crossed her arms over her chest. Erwin looked at her with his big blue eyes, his blond eyebrows raising as he gaze upon her.
    Hanji, knowing she couldn’t resist much more, threw herself onto the man kneeling before her. “I forgive you!” She cheered, rubbing her cheek against his eyebrows. She felt better giving in and touching those furry stripes. Erwin smiled and kissed her neck since her cheek refused to leave his eyebrows. Hanji knew that, even if he knew her infatuation with his eyebrows, Erwin would never leave her.
    Levi gave an evil smirk as he adjusted the cravat around his neck. What a glorious day of vengeance this would be. That horse boy would not know what hit him...or would he? Levi wondered the last part critically as he felt the large object in his palm. His gray eyes narrowed as he entered the hotel.
    Jean shook out his two toned hair as he looked to his phone. A text from Armin had awoken him from his slumber. Checking the time, he noticed it too late to bother with meeting up with the others or attending the meeting with Titan Co. He looked at the text. Levi is after you. Run. Shivers ran down his spine, but he ignored it. Surely, just surely, Levi couldn’t get him in this private suite. He pulled the covers up to his neck and turned over. “Where’s. My. Bleach?” Cold gray eyes glared at Jean before Levi Ackerman stuffed his cravat into Jean’s mouth to stifle any possible screams.